Welcome to Can I Just Tell You?
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Can I just tell you? This whole site needs an overhaul. My goodness! Thank you for visiting, come back again in a few weeks. I still appreciate your support. :)
I love your support. So many of you have encouraged me to keep writing all these years. I took a few years off because I wasn't feeling very confident about my skill and self-conscience about my subject matter. I really appreciate your gentle (sometimes haunting) push to get back on the proverbial horse. My favorite thing in the world is making someone laugh, typically at my own expense. It warms my heart to hear that my silly stories have helped you smile or laugh out loud when you felt like that's the last thing you could do.


I also really appreciate the support of many boyfriends who read through my entire collection of crazy and still chose to continue dating. I'm not sure if you felt bad for me or found me charming. Regardless, thanks for the encouragement.


I'm going to change things up a little bit. As you may have guessed, from some of my posts, I have aspirations of writing a book. (Or two, three, or four… We'll see.) Anyway, all of my stories, up to 3/6/17, are true and happened to me. I'm thinking about adding some characters to my stories and playing around with fiction writing. You'll be able to tell the real stories from fiction. I think. ;-)


I'm not sure what my books are going to be like, yet. I've always enjoyed reading fiction but, maybe non-fiction is the right path for me. I'm pretty confident with the voice I've developed in telling my silly stories and would like to continue to write in that tone. I know I'm going to start off slow because, as you know, self-discipline has never been one of my stronger qualities. I may try to play around with other subjects, too. Stay tuned.


This site is meant to make you laugh through stories that you may be able to relate to whether it's sour love, a cooking disaster, a social faux-pas, etc. So, bear with me as I stumble through my experiences, hopefully, more gracefully than the actual event, but just as funny, and either share the lesson or just make you laugh out loud.

If there's ever a story that really hits your funny bone or makes your day, let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

So, sit back, put on your reading glasses and enjoy.

Please, take a minute to sign my guest book. It seems I have readers from around the world. I'd be more than happy to put you on an update list so you'll know when I have a new post. Cheers!


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Friday, August 7, 2015


The Tinder machine finally clicked. I can't even begin to tell you how much I like it and how much I wish I went on it years ago. Seriously. It's a totally natural (in our smart phone society) way to meet people. I can sit on my couch on any given night and take a peek into every bar in a 20-30 mile radius. If I see someone I think is cute, I swipe right. If he thinks I'm cute too, then we make a match and can start texting each other. There is nothing fancy about it. And, it's free! My favorite 4 letter word. If it's free it's for me! You're only allowed a handful of pictures and 100 words for the text summary of yourself. There's no room for fluff or bs about how many pets you have or your favorite place to drink. I don't care about any of that. All I want to know is if they're attractive and they have mastered the English language in writing. It's shocking to read texts from men who have minimal writing skills. I always wonder how they maintain work.


It took a little while but, it seems to be working. I talked to my first candidate the other night for 3 hours. Three hours on the phone! Crazy but, he was really funny, his pictures were cute, and I liked his voice. We made plans for the next day. I've met two so far. It seems a much slower pace than Match or meeting guys through friends and family. I like men who make a plan right away. Like, "Hey, I had a great time today with you. When can I see you again?" That's my type of guy. Oh well. What's the rush? I suppose.


My only little hiccup was lying about my age. My profile states I'm 4 years younger than my real age. My reasoning behind that is, first of all, that's how old I look (if not younger) and, more importantly, I prefer men in their 30s to men in their 40s. Certainly, 50+ year old men are completely out of the question. Can I just tell you? I feel like I'm in my sexual prime. I am totally comfortable with my body, flaws and all. Finally. Everything works great and my skin still looks good. It's not only outside stuff, my insides are all good, too. I'm comfortable with who I am, inside and out. It's a great feeling. I want to share my life with someone who feels the same way about themselves. I'm not ruling out men in their 40s, some are aging really well. Have you seen American Ninja Warrior? Some of the older ones look pretty good. They're typically smarter than the 30 somethings, too. I like that.


Don't get me wrong. It's not all about looks but, that is a big factor for sexual attraction for me and a sense of humor. I met my 2nd Tinder guy last night. He was super nice and cute but, there was definitely something missing. We didn't have any spark. It's the spark that's most important. I want someone who makes me quiver. What a lovely word and feeling, right? Sometimes you can find that in someone who isn't traditionally attractive but, it takes a little more time to find. I will admit to choosing smart and funny vs. attractive and dull, most of the time. Unless I feel like my  fellow, average woman would shame me for not taking the opportunity to experience the throes of passion with the super-hot, dull guy. Then, I would have to take one for the team.


I've let fate guide me for years and I haven't found many men who, at first glance, were not attractive then grew on me. Tinder is the closest thing to giving many potentials a chance. The ones who aren't super cute have 100 words to make me laugh or find a kindred spirit in them. It's natural.

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I honestly don't know where to start. I'm overwhelmed by different trains of thought. For one, I have to start dating. Tinder is okay but I'm not connecting with anyone good. So far. Also, I feel like to need to create a list of things I need to work on that I can improve about myself. Maybe that's a chore to do before dating? I was watching an interview with Kenny Chesney done by Robin Roberts.  That woman looks great, by the way! I'd imagine she's in her 50s. Black women always age well. I digress. Kenny was talking about getting to a stagnant point in his career and decided to write a list of about 35 things he could improve in his life. They were actions he could control. He did this sitting up in bed one night. He said it helped him focus and bring his career to a new level.


Unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm at the point of no return for having my own children. I'm not sure I want them anyway. I think they may have changed my life for the better but who knows? It's not in my control. Actually, it is if I had $10,000 to throw away on IVF and finding donor sperm. Credit and forget it?? I don't think so.


So, I suppose I should focus on bettering myself and figuring out what I can control in this life and how I can be the best version of myself. I know likes attract likes. I think I would be happy with a man who was a perfect match for my best self without children. Maybe he has kids. Do I want to be a stepparent? I suppose I could do it but I give up a lot of control. Maybe that's my lesson in life, to just let go.


What do I need to improve?


Getting to work early. How is that currently serving me? Not well, I get to work a half hour late every day. I was with my Dairy Bar peeps yesterday. All 5 of them were MODs, Managers on Duty. I was not. Ever. Why is that, I wondered? Could be my perpetual tardiness. Or, my lackadaisical attitude, minimal work effort, or anxiety to go home and most likely never offering to work additional hours… That's possible. What is that? Where does that come from? Even now, I could be waitressing weekends or doing additional work somewhere. (Like writing!) Yet, I choose not to. Instead, I'd rather be home, by myself. May be time to wake up (a little earlier) and get crackin' on that change that I have complete control over.


Start the day with a plan. I'm finding that I get in late and screw around for a few hours and put in minimal effort in the summer. I really should take the whole summer off or do something productive. It wouldn't kill me to end every day with a plan for the next day. Also, I should delete Facebook. Seriously.


I've lost the weight, I'm in the best shape of my life. I love my job and my finances are in check. My crazy, impulsiveness has mellowed out quite a bit. In fact, my attraction to crazy has settled itself, too. I was out with my friend, Karen, the other night. We've been friends for about 15 years. I was lamenting that I wasted my prettiest years (30s) dating handfuls of hooligans: an Elvis impersonator, a clown (literally), a musician that plays gigs around the world (that may have been fun…), much younger men, etc. I don't even remember half of them. Where did it get me? Single and childless in my forties.


It's time. Time to get off the couch, get to work early with a plan, and shake that cute little tail of mine (before gravity claims it completely!) Can I just tell you? I may have missed the baby wagon but I'm not going to miss out on a happy, fulfilling life.

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