Can I Just Tell You?

Welcome to Can I Just Tell You?
Thanks for visiting!

Can I just tell you? This whole site needs an overhaul. My goodness! Thank you for visiting, come back again in a few weeks. I still appreciate your support. :)
 
I love your support. So many of you have encouraged me to keep writing all these years. I took a few years off because I wasn't feeling very confident about my skill and self-conscience about my subject matter. I really appreciate your gentle (sometimes haunting) push to get back on the proverbial horse. My favorite thing in the world is making someone laugh, typically at my own expense. It warms my heart to hear that my silly stories have helped you smile or laugh out loud when you felt like that's the last thing you could do.

 

I also really appreciate the support of many boyfriends who read through my entire collection of crazy and still chose to continue dating. I'm not sure if you felt bad for me or found me charming. Regardless, thanks for the encouragement.

 

I'm going to change things up a little bit. As you may have guessed, from some of my posts, I have aspirations of writing a book. (Or two, three, or four… We'll see.) Anyway, all of my stories, up to this point 8/3/15, are true and happened to me. I'm thinking about adding some characters to my stories and playing around with fiction writing. You'll be able to tell the real stories from fiction. I think. ;-)

 

I'm not sure what my books are going to be like, yet. I've always enjoyed reading fiction but, maybe non-fiction is the right path for me. I'm pretty confident with the voice I've developed in telling my silly stories and would like to continue to write in that tone. I know I'm going to start off slow because, as you know, self-discipline has never been one of my stronger qualities. I may try to play around with other subjects, too. Stay tuned.

 

This site is meant to make you laugh through stories that you may be able to relate to whether it's sour love, a cooking disaster, a social faux-pas, etc. So, bear with me as I stumble through my experiences, hopefully, more gracefully than the actual event, but just as funny, and either share the lesson or just make you laugh out loud.

If there's ever a story that really hits your funny bone or makes your day, let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

So, sit back, put on your reading glasses and enjoy.

Please, take a minute to sign my guest book. It seems I have readers from around the world. I'd be more than happy to put you on an update list so you'll know when I have a new post. Cheers!

  

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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Psychic and the Soul Mate
I've been going to psychics for years. I thought everyone did, as I got older (and addicted) I realized I am in the minority among my educated friends. Oh well. I still enjoy throwing away a few bucks for the thrill of someone confirming that my dreams will definitely come true. They always confirm I will marry someone wonderful. However, at 41 pushing 42, the idea of it seems fleeting. I know, I know. "FORTY-ONE and suspecting the idea of a happily-ever-after isn't coming??? Ridiculous!" you're saying. I know but, when everyone you know is married or in a relationship, it seems odd that you are not. Especially, when there isn't anything apparent wrong with you. I digress.

 

I went to a psychic in July that (surprisingly) one of my educated friends suggested. Her "office" is in Portsmouth and it seemed like a great excuse to visit my favorite little Seacoast haunt. Apparently, this woman is one of the best in the country. When I heard that, I knew I had to give her my money. Her name is Betty and she was an odd duck, that goes with the territory but, she seemed very nice. She knew my inquiry was about love without asking. I suppose that shouldn't come as a surprise since I was without wedding ring. She wanted me to record our conversation on my iPhone. As we started the reading, we made conversation and she picked up on a few things about my life. She was right about most but, I think most observant people could do the same. I still wasn’t impressed. Then, we got to love. Whether or not I'd find it and where was he? She did start the reading telling me I would get married. I knew that, I just wasn’t sure if I'd settle or wait for the right one.

 

She explained I would meet a tall, handsome, dark haired man that a friend would introduce me to within 3 months. She wasn't sure if he had been married before but, if so, it was short-lived. He wanted to settle down and was looking for the right match. He lived in Massachusetts, was a man's man, very well-liked in his community and looked up to, and perhaps, runs a business. He was a kind and generous man and would know right away that I was his soul mate. He would think I was beautiful. We would be best friends and lovers. Betty felt so confident that I would meet this man that she said if I did not meet him within six months, to come back for another reading for free. She said, "You pulled the true love card twice, for Christ's sake! That doesn't happen. There is no doubt in my mind, he's looking for you."

 

Well, it's been 9 months and I considered calling Betty back to ask where he was?

 

In other news, I got a call over the winter from my friend, Kristina, who has been trying to find me a husband for years. (She's Italian, it's genetic.) She wanted to ask me if I was interested in going out with one of her clients. She said I only needed to go out to dinner once and he's older but really nice. My first thought was, "Sure." Then, she quickly slid in, "Oh by the way, he's 50 and Middle Eastern." Immediately, I thought, "oh no, short, balding, and chubby." (What? I had seen those guys on Match, they always are.) Anyway, I gave her an unconvincing, "maybe." She said, "fine" and suggested another friend who was closer to our age. I met him and thought, "Hmm, I could go out with this guy." So, I said she could give that guy my number. He never called. When pressed about why, he flatly said, "too old." He's THREE years older than me! What a blow. Immediately, I was acutely aware of my fine lines and graying hair. So, I thought, "maybe I can make it work with the last guy who I've known forever…" After a botched get-together, I shamed myself for ever having any interest in such an idiot. Finally, I said, "What the hell? Give the Middle Eastern guy my number."

 

The night of our date, I didn't want to go. I had an awful breakout from all the crap food I'd been eating, I felt fat and ugly. Plus, I had to open the office by 7am which meant I had to leave for work the next morning in the 6am timeframe instead of my usual 8:05 drive time. I knew Kristina would have killed me so, I got all dolled up and was ready to head out the door.

 

Now, with my 7am office opening the next morning, I needed to remember keys to the office. They are not my keys so, they are not attached to my key chain. I changed purses to match my outfit and the most important thing to me was not to forget those keys. My plan was to leave them in my car. I have to digress for another minute. I am perpetually late. Especially in the morning. I knew that I would be running late in the morning and most likely not even think about changing purses so, it was very possible I would forget those keys if they were hiding in one of the purses. I couldn't risk that so, I kept them in my hand, locked the door and pulled it shut. The second the door closed, my heart stopped. I had 20 minutes to get to my date, it took 22 minutes to get there and I had just, unwittingly, locked myself out of the house. I was so used to keeping my house keys in my hand when I lock the door (I've locked myself out before) that I didn't think twice because I was holding a set of keys. For the office! I panicked. I texted Kristina. She panicked, too. I called my landlord, it went straight to voicemail which meant he was in for the night and not turning his phone back on until morning.

 

I went to my neighbor's to see if she had a spare key. She didn't the last time I was locked out but, I hoped, "maybe." She told me she just turned 88 and was starting to get forgetful so, she wasn't sure if Richie (her son, my landlord) left my keys at her house. She started shuffling through drawers. I explained my predicament and she said she'd keep looking. Ugh. I knew I had to call him. I meekly told him what happened. The first words out of his mouth were, "How can I help? What can I do?" I asked him if he felt like picking me up, he said, "absolutely." I texted him my address and waited on my front porch. Fortunately, I had a ration of water and a bottle of nail polish to keep me busy.

 

When he pulled up and got out of his car, I was pleasantly surprised. Not what I expected at all. I went over to give him a hug and introduce myself. He looked great, dressed very sharp and smelled really good. He escorted me to the passenger side of his car and held the door open for me. On our way to the restaurant, I thanked him again for coming to pick me up and told him how embarrassed I was about the keys. He told me that was already one of his favorite parts of the date and said as we continued to get to know each other the story would continue to get better. He was very charming, funny and made an effort to make me feel comfortable.

 

Can I just tell you? We chatted all night and closed the restaurant. At the end of the date, he handed me the cork from our bottle of wine. I had told him earlier in the evening that I was very sentimental. At first, I thought, "How sweet, he wants me to remember our first bottle of wine together." I hadn't noticed the ink on the cork. As I looked more closely, I could see he wrote something, "THIS WAS BEST 1ST DATE EVER."

 

Before parting ways, he asked me to commit to at least 5 dates with him. He explained that after a really good first date, (in his words, "BEST 1ST DATE EVER") the expectations for our 2nd date are really high. In the off chance, he did not meet my expectations on the 2nd date, he wanted me to give him 3 more chances. He explained, he wanted to get to know me and wanted me to get to know him. I said, "yes." He then asked me if I like to dance. To which, I replied, "yes." So, he asked me to go to New Orleans with him to go dancing. Um, hell yeah. I think he may already know me…

 

I reviewed my psychic recording on the way home from work the next day. Could it be? Is he the tall, handsome, dark haired (full head of thick hair) man who knew, right away, he wanted to be my best friend forever? Maybe I won't need to claim my free reading with Betty after all.

 

"Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe

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