Can I Just Tell You?

Welcome to Can I Just Tell You?
Thanks for visiting!

Can I just tell you? This whole site needs an overhaul. My goodness! Thank you for visiting, come back again in a few weeks. I still appreciate your support. :)
 
I love your support. So many of you have encouraged me to keep writing all these years. I took a few years off because I wasn't feeling very confident about my skill and self-conscience about my subject matter. I really appreciate your gentle (sometimes haunting) push to get back on the proverbial horse. My favorite thing in the world is making someone laugh, typically at my own expense. It warms my heart to hear that my silly stories have helped you smile or laugh out loud when you felt like that's the last thing you could do.

 

I also really appreciate the support of many boyfriends who read through my entire collection of crazy and still chose to continue dating. I'm not sure if you felt bad for me or found me charming. Regardless, thanks for the encouragement.

 

I'm going to change things up a little bit. As you may have guessed, from some of my posts, I have aspirations of writing a book. (Or two, three, or four… We'll see.) Anyway, all of my stories, up to this point 8/3/15, are true and happened to me. I'm thinking about adding some characters to my stories and playing around with fiction writing. You'll be able to tell the real stories from fiction. I think. ;-)

 

I'm not sure what my books are going to be like, yet. I've always enjoyed reading fiction but, maybe non-fiction is the right path for me. I'm pretty confident with the voice I've developed in telling my silly stories and would like to continue to write in that tone. I know I'm going to start off slow because, as you know, self-discipline has never been one of my stronger qualities. I may try to play around with other subjects, too. Stay tuned.

 

This site is meant to make you laugh through stories that you may be able to relate to whether it's sour love, a cooking disaster, a social faux-pas, etc. So, bear with me as I stumble through my experiences, hopefully, more gracefully than the actual event, but just as funny, and either share the lesson or just make you laugh out loud.

If there's ever a story that really hits your funny bone or makes your day, let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

So, sit back, put on your reading glasses and enjoy.

Please, take a minute to sign my guest book. It seems I have readers from around the world. I'd be more than happy to put you on an update list so you'll know when I have a new post. Cheers!

  

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Friday, August 29, 2008

Toenails
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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Raw Food Diet

Okay, so one of my birthday presents was The Raw Food Detox Diet book. I pretty much each a raw food diet anyway because I don’t cook. However, I was looking forward to reading about the health benefits so I could relay the information back to my poor mother who shakes her head every time I talk about my favorite thing to make… reservations. I thought the book would mesh nicely with the information I gathered from Skinny Bitch which emphasizes the importance of cutting all meat products and chemicals from your diet. Of course, I was looking forward to getting skinny, too.

 

I’m not vegan or vegetarian, by the way, nor do I have any intention of becoming one but the subject still interests me and I have cut back, especially on dairy and food with a lot of ingredients I can’t pronounce. So, that’s good.

 

Anyway, the book claims you should only eat fruit before noon. I’ve been doing that but I know it isn’t going to last much longer because by 12, I’m ready to gnaw my arm off. It also recommends getting a juicer. You know, the thing you stick $20 worth of vegetables in and then it takes 10 minutes to clean before you can enjoy your beverage. (I’m OCD, I feel a pressing, almost urgent need to clean any kitchen tools before I can consume my creations.)  My sister, Marya, got one for her wedding that she never uses and half-heartedly offered it to me. The more we talked about the health benefits of the Green Lemonade (the thing you’re supposed to drink first thing in the morning) she decided to keep it. I think they cost between $50 and $100, I’m all set.

 

The other thing both books mention is that once you start on this new, clean diet there may be some side effects, acne and…blockage. Can I just tell you? They seem to think it’s normal and okay for everyday folks, like myself, to go see a colonics specialist. Weekly! Are you kidding me? Apparently, a colonic consists of lying on your side with a metal tube stuck in your fanny (it’s “better” than the disposable plastic ones…I highly doubt that) while 25 gallons of water is pumped in then massaged and flushed out. It is suggested you do this multiple times per month for several months. Seriously.

 

Please. I can barely bring myself to pee anywhere other than a comfortable bathroom with antibiotic soap and pretty smelling hand lotion!

 

Needless to say, I haven’t made any significant changes to my diet, mostly out of fear, nor have I gotten any closer to skinny... Who needs that bitch anyway?

Thu, August 28, 2008 | link          Comments

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lamborghini

Can I just tell you? I got to ride in a Lamborghini today. Very exciting! I stopped by to see a former client with some current information and the next thing I knew, I was heading to lunch in a convertible white Lamborghini with red leather interior. Very flashy, I know. I was beside myself.

 

My love of cars began many years ago with my first car, an ’81 Pontiac T1000. Silver with burgundy interior... Truth be told, it was grey with a maroon pleather interior and covered with duct tape but, the former description always impressed the boys, which always made me laugh (to myself, of course…) because they were so easily impressed.

 

It was, essentially, a Chevette. I loved that thing! My brother gave it to me when I was 19; it was my first car. It never let me down. The door had to be held up and slammed to close and it started without a key. Needless to say, I ALWAYS lost the keys so I rarely locked it. What are you goin’ to do?

 

I got a speeding ticket going 92mph in it. The duct tape flying in the wind must have caught the officer’s attention. Fortunately, the prosecutor had a hard time believing it could go that fast… (That was the last ticket I got out of, UNfortunately.)

 

In fact, I often daydreamed about painting flames down the side and getting a little Red Baron cap with goggles. True story.

 

You know I was thinking about that cap and goggles on the way to lunch!  And, yes, at 36, I definitely would have sported that look if the opportunity presented itself.

Thu, August 28, 2008 | link          Comments

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Glue
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Sunday, August 24, 2008

List
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I'll make changes to this site on a regular basis, sharing news, views, experiences, photos...whatever occurs to me. Check back often!


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