I really didn’t
want to go but the thought of being among a 90% male audience was just too good to pass up. I couldn’t help but think
I could possibly “meet my soul mate.” I had to go.
I was running a little late, big surprise, so, by the time I got there,
the VIP room was full. As I glanced around the room, my eyes narrowed in on one man who would sum up the
bulk of the attendees. He was in his mid-40s, a little portly, probably bald and sporting a bright plaid vest. Perched on
what was most likely a chrome dome was a miniature green. Yes, cart, hole, flag and all. I think it may have had a little
tree too. The second I spotted that, I knew it was time to find the finger food.
The few girlfriends already
there were busy with clients. The lines at the open bars looked to be at least a 10 minute wait so; I roamed aimlessly waiting
for Edie to get there. She’s the only person I know who is ALWAYS later than me.
Edie is a little older than
I am and when she walks in a room, you’d think she owns the place. I spotted her sashaying through the crowd 20 minutes
later. After 5 minutes of mingling, she raced over to me, grabbed my arm and said, “Follow me, you’re going to
want to write about this one!”
Well, can I just tell you? We darted straight to the ladies room. No lines there. She started
to explain the run in her stocking she discovered at work hours earlier. She then proceeded to tell me the process of going
to Brooks to buy a new pair and putting them on in her car in the theatre parking lot. Normal so far, I thought.
She was dressed
in my favorite black cashmere ¾ length designer jacket that she got for a steal at TJ Maxx and a little black dress.
She always looks great. I then hear about her walking down the street, jacket unbuttoned, from the parking lot to the show.
She ran into one of our on-air personalities and stopped for pictures then searched for her client. While talking to the client
she rested her hand on her stomach only to discover a bulkiness that hadn’t been there earlier.
telling me this, my hand went straight to my gaping mouth. Yes, ladies, she did the unimaginable. The hose tuck. Not the typical
nightmare in the back. Worse. Front. No panties.
Who wears a short dress and neglects to put on panties?????? Unless your
name is Britney or Paris, you don’t go commando in a short dress!
All I could think was, “Thank God it didn’t happen to me because
there would be an out-of-state move in my immediate future.”